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Lawyer Mike

Lawyer Mike is someone I wouldn’t want representing me. He might have the slimeyness and the dead eyes of a practicing Lawyer, but all that is made up for by the grace of a ketamine binge in a mirror store. By the end you’d be shit outta luck either way. For some reason Lawyer Mike thinks that he has what it takes to be a big time rapper, through the sound investment of half-assed youtube vids. His facial hair looks like he smeared the area around his mouth with superglue and launched into a rimjob. He usually wears the same clothes over and over and neglects to regularly wash his hair. I think this guy might actually have a very good method for winning cases, by getting mistaken for the defendant.

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